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Texty Eminemových písní z alba The Marshall Mathers LP

18. 9. 2009


1. Public Service Anndocument 2000
2. Kill You
3. Stan překlad
4. Paul(skit)
5. Who knew
6. Steve Berman(skit)
7. The Way I am
8. The Real Slim Shady
9. Remember Me
10. I'm Back
11. Marshall Mathers
12. Ken Kaniff
13. Drug Ballad
14. Amityville
15. Bitch Please II
16. Kim překlad
17. Under The Infludence
18. Criminal

Public Service Anndocument 2000

(Same announcer as the first Public Service Announcement on the Slim Shady LP):
This is ANOTHER public service announcement brought to you in part by Slim Shady.
Eminem (whispered): tell em i don't give a fuck
Announcer: Slim Shady does not give a FUCK...what you think!
Eminem: tell em to suck it
Announcer: If you don't like it, you can suck his fucking cock!
Eminem: tell em they kissed my ass
Announcer: Little did you know, upon purchasing this album, you have just kissed his ass!
Eminem: tell em i'm fed up
Announcer: Slim Shady is fed up with your shit...and he's going to kill you!
Eminem: yeah
Announcer: uh...anything else?
Eminem: Yeah...SUE ME.

Kill You

When I just a little baby boy,
my momma used to tell me these crazy things.
She used to tell me my daddy was an evil man,
she used to tell me he hated me.
But then I got a little bit older and I realized,
she was the crazy one.
But there was nothin’ I could do or say to try to change her,
cuz that's just the way she was.

They said I can't rap about bein’ broke no more.
They say I can't rap about coke no more.
(AHHH!) Slut, you think I won't choke no whore
‘till the vocal cords don't work in her throat no more?!
(AHHH!) These motherfuckers are thinkin’ I'm playin’
Thinkin’ I'm sayin’ this shit cuz I'm thinkin’ it just to be sayin’ it
(AHHH!) Put your hands down BITCH, I ain't gon' shoot you.
I'ma pull +YOU+ to this bullet, and put it through you
(AHHH!) Shut up slut, you're causin’ too much chaos
Just bend over and take it slut, okay Ma?
“Oh, now he's rapin’ his own mother, abusing a whore,
snorting coke, and we gave him the Rolling Stone cover?"
You goddamn right BITCH, and now it's too late,
I'm triple platinum and tragedies happened in two states.
I invented violence, you vile venomous volatile bitches
vain Vicadin, vrinnn Vrinnn, VRINNN! {*chainsaw revs up*}
Texas Chainsaw, left his brains all
Danglin’ from his neck, while his head barely hangs on.
Blood, guts, guns, cuts.
Knives, lives, wives, nuns, sluts.

Chorus: Eminem

Bitch I'ma kill you! You don't wanna fuck with me.
Girls leave - you ain't nuttin but a slut to me
Bitch I'ma kill you! You ain't got the balls to beef.
We ain't gon' never stop beefin’ I don't squash the beef.
You better kill me! I'ma be another rapper dead
for poppin’ off at the mouth with shit I shouldn'ta said.
But when they kill me - I'm bringin’ the world with me.
Bitches too! You ain't nuttin’ but a girl to me.

..I said you don't, wanna fuck with Shady, (‘cause why?)
‘Cause Shady, will fuckin’ kill you. (ah-haha)
I said you don't, wanna fuck with Shady, (why?)
Cuz Shady, will fuckin’ kill you

Bitch I'ma kill you! Like a murder weapon, I'ma conceal you
in a closet with mildew, sheets, pillows and film you
Buck with me, I been through hell, shut the hell up!
I'm tryin’ to develop these pictures of the Devil to sell 'em
I ain't ask to rap, but I rap on acid
Got a new blow-up probe and just had a strap-on added.
WHOOPS! Is that a subliminal hint? NO!
Just criminal intent to sodomize women again
Eminem offend? NO! Eminem on assault.
And if you ever give in to him, you give him an impulse
to do it again, THEN, if he does it again
you'll probably end up jumpin’ out of somethin’ up in the 10th
(Ahhhhhhhh!) Bitch I'ma kill you, I ain't done, this ain't the chorus.
I ain't even drug you in the woods yet to paint the forest
A bloodstain is orange after you wash it three or four times
in the tub but that's normal ain't it Norman?
Serial killer hidin’ murder material
in a cereal box on top of your stereo
Here we go again, we're out of our medicine,
out of our minds, and we want in yours, let us in.

Chorus (first line starts "Or I'ma kill you!")

Eh-heh, know why I say these things?
Cause ladies’ screams keep creepin’ in Shady's dreams.
And the way things seem, I shouldn't have to pay these shrinks
these eighty G's a week to say the same things TWEECE!
TWICE? Whatever, I hate these things
Fuck shots! I hope the weed'll outweigh these drinks
Motherfuckers want me to come on their radio shows
just to argue with 'em cuz their ratings stink?
FUCK THAT! I'll choke radio announcer to bouncer,
from fat bitch to all seventy-thousand pounds of her.
From principal, to the student body, and counselor,
from in-school, to before school, to out of school.
I don't even believe in breathin’, I'm leavin’ air in your lungs
just to hear you keep screamin’ for me to seep it.
You faggots keep eggin’ me on ‘till I have you at knifepoint, then you beg
me to stop?
SHUT UP! Gimme your hands and feet!
I said SHUT UP when I'm talkin to you!

Chorus (first line starts "Or I'ma kill you!"
ninth line starts "Bitch I'ma kill you!")

[Eminem] Hahaha, I'm just playin’ ladies. You know I love you.



My tea's gone cold, I'm wondering why I got out of bed at all
the morning rain clouds up my window and I can't see at all
And even if I could it'd all be grey, but your picture on my wall
it reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad


Dear Slim, I wrote you but you still ain't callin'
I left my cell, my pager, and my home phone at the bottom
I sent two letters back in autumn
You must not have got 'em
It probably was a problem at the post office or somethin'
Sometimes I scribble addresses too sloppy when I jot 'em
But anyways, fuck it, what's been up man, how's your daughter?
My girlfriend's pregnant too, I'm out to be a father
If I have a daughter, guess what I'm-a call her?
I'm-a name her Bonnie.
I read about your uncle Ronnie too, I'm sorry
I had a friend kill himself over some bitch who didn't want him.
I know you probably hear this everyday, but I'm your biggest fan.
I even got the underground shit that you did with Scam.
I got a room full of your posters and your pictures, man.
I like the shit you did with Ruckus too, that shit was fat.
Anyways, I hope you get this man, hit me back, just to chat
Truly yours, your biggest fan, this is Stan.



Dear Slim, you still ain't called or wrote, I hope you have the chance.
I ain't mad, I just think it's fucked up you don't answer fans.
If you didn't want to talk to me outside your concert
You didn't have to
but you could have signed an autograph for Matthew.
That's my little brother, man. He's only 6 years old.
We waited in the blistering cold for you for 4 hours and ya just said no.
That's pretty shitty man, you're like his fuckin' idol
He wants to be just like you man, he likes you more than I do.
I ain't that mad, but I just don't like bein' lied to.
Remember when we met in Denver, you said if I write you
You would write back. See, I'm just like you in a way.
I never knew my father neither.
He used to always cheat on my mom and beat her.
I can relate to what you're sayin' in your songs.
So when I have a shitty day, I drift away and put 'em on.
Cause I don't really got shit else, so that shit helps
when I'm depressed.
I even got a tattoo with your name across the chest.
Sometimes I even cut myself to see how much it bleeds.
It's like adrenaline. The Pain is such a sudden rush for me.
See, everything you say is real, and I respect you 'cause you tell it.
My girlfriend's jealous 'cause I talk about you 24/7.
But she don't know you like I know you, Slim, no one does.
She don't know what it was like for people like us growing up.
You've gotta call me man. I'll be the biggest fan you'll ever lose.
Sincerely yours, Stan. PS: We should be together too.



Dear Mr. "I'm too good to call or write my fans"
This'll be the last package I ever send your ass.
It's been six months and still no word. I don't deserve it?
I know you got my last two letters, I wrote the
addresses on 'em perfect.
So this is my cassette I'm sending you. I hope you hear it.
I'm in the car right now. I'm doing 90 on the freeway.
Hey Slim, "I drank a fifth of vodka, ya dare me to drive?"
You know that song by Phil Collins from "The Air In The Night"?
About that guy who could have saved that other guy from drowning?
But didn't? Then Phil saw it all then at his show he found him?
That's kinda how this is. You could have rescued me from drowning.
Now it's too late. I'm on a thousand downers now, I'm drowsy.
And all I wanted was a lousy letter or a call.
I hope you know I ripped all o' your pictures off the wall.
I love you Slim, we could have been together. Think about it.
You ruined it now, I hope you can't sleep and you dream about it.
And when you dream, I hope you can't sleep and you scream about it.
I hope your conscious eats at you and you can't breathe without me.
See Slim, {screaming} shut up bitch, I'm trying to talk
Hey Slim, that's my girlfriend screaming in the trunk.
But I didn't slit her throat, I just tied her up, see I ain't like you.
'Cause if she suffocates, she'll suffer more, and then she'll die too.
Well, gotta go, I'm almost at the bridge now.
Oh shit, I forgot, how am I supposed to send this shit out?

{screeching tires, crashing sounds, car splashes into the water}



Dear Stan, I meant to write you sooner, but I've just been busy.
You said your girlfriend's pregnant now, how far along is she?
Look, I'm really flattered you would call your daughter that.
And here's an autograph for your brother: I wrote it on your Starter cap.
I'm sorry I didn't see you at the show, I must have missed you.
Don't think I did that shit intentionally, just to diss you.
And what's this shit you said about you like to cut your wrists too?
I say that shit just clownin' dawg, c'mon, how fucked up is you?
You got some issues, Stan, I think you need some counselin'
To help your ass from bouncin' off the walls when you get down some.
And what's this shit about us meant to be together?
That type of shit'll make me not want us to meet each other.
I really think you and your girlfriend need each other.
Or maybe you just need to treat her better.
I hope you get to read this letter.
I just hope it reaches you in time.
Before you hurt yourself, I think that you'd be doin' just fine
If you'd relax a little. I'm glad that I inspire you, but Stan
Why are you so mad? Try to understand that I do want you as a fan.
I just don't want you to do some crazy shit.
I seen this one shit on the news a couple weeks ago that made me sick.
Some dude was drunk and drove his car over a bridge
And had his girlfriend in the trunk and she was
pregnant with his kid
And in the car they found a tape but it didn't say who it was to
Come to think about it...his name was...it was you.



Em, what's goin' on...
It's Paul...ahhm...
Dre gave me a copy of the new album...
I just...sigh...
Fuck it.

Who knew

I never knew I...
I never knew I...Mic check, one, two
I never knew I...Who would've knew
I never knew I...Who would've known
I never knew I...Fuck with authority
I never knew I...Motherfucker comes out
I never knew I...Sells a couple-a million records
I never knew I...And these motherfuckers hit the ceiling

I don't do black music, I don't do white music (nope)
I make fight music, for high-school kids
Put lives at risk when I drive like this
I put wives at risk with a knife like this
Shit, you probably think I'm in your tape deck now
I'm in the back seat of your truck with duct tape stretched out
Ducked the fuck way down, waiting to straight jump out
Put it over your mouth, and grab you by the face, what now?
Oh. You want me to watch my mouth? How?
Take my fucking eyeballs out and turn them around? (look)
I'll burn your fuckin' house down, circle around
And hit the hydrant so you can't put your burning furniture out
(oh my god, oh my god)
I'm sorry there must be a mixup
You want me to fixup lyrics while our president gets his dick sucked?
(sound of Ken Kaniff leering )
Fuck that. Take drugs. Rape sluts.
Make fun of gay clubs. Men who wear makeup.
*Get it aware. Wake up. Get a sense of humor.
Quit tryin' to censor music. This is for your kids amusement. (the kids!)
But don't blame me when little Eric jumps off of the terrace.
You should've been watching him. Apparently you ain't parents.
I never knew I...knew I would get this big
I never knew I...knew I'd affect this kid
I never knew I'd...get him to slit his wrists
I never knew I'd...get him to hit this bitch
I never knew I...knew I would get this big
I never knew I...knew I'd affect this kid
I never knew I'd...get him to slit his wrists
I never knew I'd...get him to hit this bitch

So who's bringing the guns in this country?
I couldn't sneak a plastic pellet-gun thru customs over in London
And last week I seen a Schwarzenegger movie
Where he's shooting all sorts of motherfuckers with an uzi
I seen these three little kids up in the front row
Screaming "Go!" with their 17-year old uncle
I'm like "Guidance?
Ain't they got the same moms and dads who got mad when I asked if they like violence?
And told me that my tape got 'em to swear What about the makeup you allowed your twelve-year-old daughter to wear? (hm?)
So tell me that your son doesn't know any cuss words *When this bus driver's screaming at him, fucking him up worse"
(fuck ? you little fucking prick)
And fuck was the first word I ever learned
Up in the third grade flipping the gym teacher the bird (look)
So read up, 'bout how I used to get beat up
Peed on, be on free lunch, and change schools every three months
My life's like, kinda what my wife's like (what?)
Fucked up after I beat her fucking ass every night (Ike)
So how much easier would life be
If nineteen-million motherfuckers grew to be just like me

'Cause I never knew I...knew I would get this big
I never knew I...knew I'd affect this kid
I never knew I'd...get him to slit his wrists
I never knew I'd...get him to hit this bitch
I never knew I...knew I would get this big
I never knew I...knew I'd affect this kid
I never knew I'd...get him to slit his wrists
I never knew I'd...get him to hit this bitch

I never knew I, knew I'd, have a new house or a new car
Couple years ago I was more poorer than you are
I don't got that bad of a mouth do I?
Fuck shit ass bitch, cunt, shoobie-do-doo-wa (woops!)
Skeebie-ba-be-wop, a-Christopher Reeves
Sonny Bono, skeezes, whores, & hittin' some trees (hey!)
How many retards will listen to me
And run in the school shootin' when they're pissed at the teach-
-er, her, or him, is it you? Is it him?
Wasn't me. Slim Shady said to do it again.
Damn! How much damage can you do with a pen?
Man, I'm just as fucked up as you would've been
If you would've been in my shoes, who would've thought
Slim Shady would've been something that you would've bought
That would've made you get a gun and shoot at a cop
I just said it, I didn't know if you did it or not

'Cause I never knew I...knew I would get this big
I never knew I...knew I'd affect this kid
I never knew I'd...get him to slit his wrists
I never knew I'd...get him to hit this bitch
I never knew I...knew I would get this big
I never knew I...knew I'd affect this kid
I never knew I'd...get him to slit his wrists
I never knew I'd...get him to hit this bitch

How the fuck was I supposed to know?


Steve Berman(skit)

Eminem: Heyyy!
Steve: Hey, Em, what's up?
Eminem: Steve Berman. What's goin' on, man, how you doin? Good to see you again. What's up?
Steve: Em, could you come here and have a seat, please?
Eminem: Umm, yeah, what's...
Steve: Vannessa, shut the door.
Secretary: Okay.
Eminem: So what's up? How's orders looking for the first week?
Steve: It would be better if you gave me nothing at all.
Eminem: Wh-
Steve: This album is less than nothing. I can't sell this fucking record.
Eminem: Wha-
Steve: Do you know what's happening to me out there?
Eminem: Wh-wha-what's the problem?
Steve: Violent Ground told me to go fuck myself!
Eminem: Who's Violent...?
Steve: Tower Records told me to shove this record up my ass!
Do you know what it feels like to be told to have a record shoved up your ass?
Eminem: But, I-
Steve: I'm gonna lose my fuckin' job over this.
You know why Dre's record was so successful?
He's rappin' about big-screen tv's, blunts, 40's and bitches.
You're rappin' about homosexuals and Vicadin.
Eminem: I mean-
Steve: I can't sell this shit!
Eminem: What-
Steve: Either change the record or it's not coming out!
Eminem: What, I-
Steve: Now get the fuck out of my office!
Eminem: What am I supposed-
Steve: NOW!
Eminem: Alright man, whatever.

(note: on the copy i've heard, the break beween this track
and the next occurs between the words "man" and "whatever".
The "whatever" is actually on the next song, "The Way I Am")


The Way I am

The Way I Am by Eminem
Dre just let it run.......
Hey yo turn the beat up a little bit
Hey yo.....this song is for anyone....fuck it ...just shut up and listen

I sit back, with this pack
of zig zags....and this bag
of this weed. it gets me. the shit, needed to be
the most meanest mc on this.....on this earth
and since birth i've been cursed with this curse that just cursed
and just blurt it's bezerk and bizarre shit that works
and it sells and it helps in itself to relieve all this tension dispensing me
sentence is getting it...stress has been eating me recently
all for this chest and i rest to get peacefully
but at least have the decency..........in you to leave me alone when you freaks
see me out...in the streets when im eatin or feedin my daughter
and not come and speak to me ......i don't know you and no i don't owe you
a motherfuckin thing......i'm not Mr. NSYNC and i'm not what your friends think
i'm not Mr. Friendly......i can be a prick....if you tip me my tank is on empty.....
no patience is in me and if you offend me ....i'm lifting you ten feet.....in the air
i don't care who was there and who saw me destroy you.....i'll call you a lawyer
.....file you a lawsuit......i ll smile in the courtroom ...and buy you a
wardrobe....i'm tired of arguing ....i don't mean to me but it's all i can
be, it's just me

and i am....whatever you say i am
if i wasn't , then why would i say i am?
in the papers, the news, everyday i am
radio won't even play my jam

cuz i am.....whatever you say i am
if i wasn't, then why would i say i am?
in the papers, the news, everyday i am
i don't know it's just the way i am

sometimes i just feel like my father.....i hate to be bothered
with all of this nonsense.....it's constant and "oh it's just lyrical content"
the song "guilty conscience" has gotten such rotten responses
and all of this controversy ..circles me...and it seems like the media
immediately points a finger at me.....so I point one back at them
but not the index or the pinky......or the ring or the thumb......it's the one
you put up when you don't give a fuck....when you won't just put up......with
the bull shit they pull....cuz they full of shit too....when a dude's gettin
bullied and shoots up your school......and they blame it on Marilyn.....and the
heroin....where were the parents at??....and look at where it's at......middle
America.....now it's a tragedy....now it's so sad to see....in upper classity
having this happening,
then attack eminem cuz i rap this way.....but i'm glad cuz they feed me the fuel
that i need for the fire to burn and it's burnin' and I have returned


i'm so sick and tired of bein admired
that i wish that i would just die or get fired
and drop from my label...and stop with the fables
i'm not goin to be able....to top what my name is
and pigeons holdin to some poppy sensations
they caught me in rotation at rock n roll stations
and i just do not got the patience....to deal with this cocky caucasions
who think im some wigger who just tries to be black...cuz i talk with an accent
and then grab on my balls till they always keep askin the same fuckin questions
.....what school did i go to? ,.......what hood i grew up in?.....the why?...the
who what?.....when and the where and the how.......till im grabbin my hair and
im tearin it out......you ve been drivin me crazy.....i can't take it....i'm
racin....i'm pacin....i stand then i sit.......and i'm thankful for every fan
that i get......but i can't take a shit...in the bathroom w/out someone standing
by it......you knew i won't sign your autograph....you can call me an asshole
i'm glad



The Real Slim Shady

May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?
Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
I repeat will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
We're going to have a problem here

(Verse 1)

Ya'll act like you never seen a white person before
jaws all on the floor like Pam like Tommy just burst in the door
started whoopin her ass worse than before
they first get divorced throwing her over furniture (scream)
It's the return of the
"Oh wait, no way, your kidding, he didn't just say what I think he did, did he?"
And Dr Dre said
....Nothing you idiots Dr Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement (haha)
Feminist women love Eminem
Chicka chicka chicka Slim Shady I'm sick of him
look at him, walking around grabbing his you know what
limpin' to you know who "yeah, but hes so cute though"
Yea I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
but no worse than what's going on in your parent's bedrooms
Sometimes I wanna get on TV and just let loose,
but can't, but its cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
my bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips
and if I'm lucky you might just give it a little kiss
and that's the message that we deliver to little kids
and expect them not to know what a womens clitoris is.
Of course they gonna know what intercourse is
by the time they hit 4th grade,
they got the discovery channel don't they?
We ain't nothing but mammals; well some of us cannibals
who cut other people open like cantaloupes.
But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope
But if you feel like I feel I got the antidote.
Women wave your panty hoes, sing the chorus and it goes...


I'm Slim Shady
Yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady...
Please stand up, Please stand up, Please stand up
becuase I'm Slim Shady
Yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim shady...
Please stand up, Please stand up, Please stand up

(Verse 2)

Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell records
Well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too.
You think I give a damm about a Grammy?
Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me.
"But Slim what if u win wouldn't it be weird?"
Why? So you guys can just lie to get me here?
So you can sit me here next to Britney Spears.
Shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
So I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
And hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first.
Little bitch put me on blast on MTV
"yeah he's cute but I think he's married to Kim, hehe"
I should download her audio on mp3
And show the whole world how you gave Eminem V.D. (scream)
I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups all you do is annoy me
So I've been sent here to destroy you
And theres a million of us just like me
Who cuss like me
Who just don't give a fuck like me
Who dress like me
Walk, talk and act like me
It just might be the next best thing
But not quite me


(Verse 3)

I'm like a headtrip to listen to
Cause I'm only giving you
things you joke about with your friends inside your living room
The only difference is I got the balls to say it in front of ya'll
And I don't gotta be false or sugar coated at all
I just get on the mic and spit it
And whether you like to admit it (rip)
I just shit it better than 90% of you rappers out there
Then you wonder how can kidz eat up these albums like valiums.
Its funny cuz at the rate im going when I'm 30
Ill be the only person in the nursing home flirty.
Pinching nurses asses when I'm jackin' off with Jergens and I'm jerking
But this whole bag of viagra isn't working
And every single person is a Slim Shady lurkin'
He could be workin at Burger King spitten on your onion rings
Or in the parking lot circling
screaming I don't give a fuck
With his windows down and system up
So will the real Shady, please stand up
and put one of those fingures on each hand up
and to be proud to be outta your mind and outta control
and one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?



Remember Me

Remember me? ("Several executions")
Remember me? ("I have no remorse")
Remember me? ("I'm high-powered")
Remember me? ("I drop bombs like Hiroshima")

For this, why it's the X, you retarded?
'Cause I grab the mic and get down, like syndrome
Hide in Rome and to the masses, without boundaries
Whice qualifies me for the term "universal"
Without no rehearsal, colleaged words is controversial
Like I'm not, the one you wanna contest, see
'Cause I'll hit your ass like the train did that bitch that got "Banned From TV"
Heavyweight get up, hit you, watch you're whole head split up
Loco is the motion, weed comin' through
Hollow tips in the lead, the .45 through

(Sticky Fingaz)
Remember me? ("Throw ya gunz in the air!")
Remember me? ("Slam! Slam!")
Remember me? ("Nigga bacdafucup!")
Remember me? ("Chka-chka-Onyx!")

Niggas catchin' "no" for an answer, ghetto no
Yeah, that bitch hoe no'd but it was more like "no, no, no!!"
Life's a bitch; yeah it'll fuck you if you let her
Better come better than better to be a competitor
This ved is a head, the shit is all redder, you deader and deader
I better extended the cheddars and credda
Instead of vendetta, a mellow beretta from ghetto to ghetto
Evidence? Nope! Never leave a shredda
I got the soul of every rapper in me, love me or hate me
My moms got raped by the industry and made me
I'm the illest nigga ever, I told you
I get more pussy than them dyke bitches total
Want beef, nigga? PSH better dead that shit
My name should be "Can't-Believe-That-Nigga-Said-That-Shit"
Probably say "he ain't a killa", but I'm killin' myself
Smoke def, fuck bitches raw, on the kitchen floor
So think what I'ma do to you, have done to you
Got niggas in my hood who'd do that shit for a bullet too
What you wanna do, cocksuckers? We're glock busters
'Til the cops cuff us, we'll start ruckus and drop blockbusters
'Round the clock hustlers, you cannot touch us
I'm gettin' wires niggas wantin' me dead
One in my head, you think it could be somethin' I said?

Remember me? ("I just don't give a fuck!")
Remember me? ("Yeah, fuck you too!")
Remember me? ("I'm low down and I'm shifty!")
Remember me? ("I'm shady!")

When I go out, I'ma go out shootin'
I don't mean when I die, I mean when I go out to the club, stupid
I'm tryin' to clear up my fuckin' image, so I promised the fuckin' critics
I wouldn't say "fuckin'" for six minutes
(*click* Six minutes, Slim Shady, you're on)
My baby's mom, bitch made me an angry blonde
So I made me a song, killed her and put Haley on
I may be wrong, I keep thinkin' these crazy thoughts
In my cranium, but I'm stuck with a crazy mom
(Is she really on as much dope as you say she's on?)
Came home, and somebody must've broke in the back window
And stole two golden machine guns and both of my trenchcoats
Sick sick dreams of picnic scenes, two kids, sixteen
And M-16's with ten clips each
And them shits reach through 6 kids each
And Slim gets blamed in Bill Clint's speech to fix these streets?
FUCK THAT! PSH you faggots can vanish to volcanic ash
And re-appear in hell with a can of gas, AND a match
Aftermath, Dre, grab the gat, show 'em where it's at
(What the fuck you starin' at, nigga?)

Don't you remember me?
Remember me?
Remember me?!
Remember me?!


I'm Back

School Choir: SLIM SHADY!
(note: on the copy i've heard, this part is mostly on the end of the previous
track. Only the Y makes it to this track)
Eminem: That's why they call me Slim (slim) Shady! (I'm back)
I'm back (I'm back)
School Choir: SLIM SHADY!
Eminem: I'm back (I'm back)
That's why they call me Slim (slim) Shady! (I'm back)
I'm back (I'm back)
School Choir: SLIM SHADY!
Eminem: I'm back (I'm back)
That's why they call me Slim (slim) Shady! (I'm back)
I'm back (I'm back)
School Choir: SLIM SHADY!
Eminem: I'm back (I'm back)
That's why they call me Slim (er) Shady! (I'm back)
I'm back (I'm back)
School Choir: SLIM SHADY! SHADY!
Eminem: I'm back (I'm back)

I murder a rhyme one word at a time, you never
Heard of a mind as perverted as mine, you better
Get rid of that nine it ain't gonna help
What good's it gonna do against a man that strangles himself?
I'm waitin' for hell, like hell, shit, I'm anxous as hell
Manson, you're safe in that cell, thankful is jail
I used to be my mommy's little angel at twelve
At thirteen I was putting shells in the gauge on the shelf, I used to
Get punked and bullied on my block, till I cut a kitten's head off
And stuck it in this kid's mailbox (HEY! MOM! MOM!), I used to give a
Fuck, now I could give a fuck less
What do I think of sucess? It sucks! Too much press
*And stress, too much cess, and breasts, too upset
It's just, too much mess, I guess, I must just blew up quick (yes)
Grew up quick? (no) was raised right? Whatever you say's wrong, whatever I say's
You think of my name now whenever you say high, became a commodity because I'm W
- H - I
- T - E, 'cause MTV was so friendly to me, can't wait 'till Kim sees me
Now is it worth it? Look at my life. How is it perfect?
Read my lips bitch, what, my mouth isn't working?
You hear this finger? Oh, it's upside down.
Here, let me turn this motherfucker up right now!

Eminem: That's why they call me Slim (slim) Shady! (I'm back)
I'm back (I'm back)
School Choir: SLIM SHADY!
Eminem: I'm back (I'm back)
That's why they call me Slim (slim) Shady! (I'm back)
I'm back (I'm back)
School Choir: SLIM SHADY!
Eminem: I'm back (I'm back)
That's why they call me Slim (slim) Shady! (I'm back)
I'm back (I'm back)
School Choir: SLIM SHADY!
Eminem: I'm back (I'm back)
That's why they call me Slim (slim) Shady! (shady) (I'm back)
I'm back (I'm back)
School Choir: SLIM SHADY!
Eminem: I'm back (I'm back)

I take each individual degenerate's head and reach into it
Just to see if he's influenced by me if he listens to music
And if he feeds into this shit he's an innocent
Victim and becomes a puppet on the string of my tennis shoe
(record scratching)...my name is Slim Shady
I been crazy way before radio didn't play me
The sensational "back, it's the incredible!"
With Ken Kaniff who just finds the men edible, it's, Ken Kaniff, on the,
internet, tryin' to Lure your kids, with him, INTO BED, it's a Sick world
we'RE livIN' in these days
"Slim, for pete's sake, put down Christopher Reeve's legs!"
Geez! You guys are so sensitive. "Slim it's a touchy subject, try and just don't
mention it..."
Mind with no sense in it, fried, gets so frentic,
'Cause eyes get so squinted, I'm blind from smoke in 'em
With my windows tinted, with nine limos rented,
Doin' lines of coke in 'em, with a bunch of guys hoppin' out
All high and dosing it
And that's where I get my name from
That's why they call me

Eminem: They call me Slim (slim) Shady! (I'm back)
I'm back (I'm back)
School Choir: SLIM SHADY!
Eminem: I'm back (I'm back)
That's why they call me Slim (slim) Shady! (I'm back)
I'm back (I'm back)
School Choir: SLIM SHADY!
Eminem: I'm back (I'm back)
That's why they call me Slim (slim) Shady! (I'm back)
I'm back (I'm back)
School Choir: SLIM SHADY!
Eminem: I'm back (I'm back)
That's why they call me Slim (er) Shady! (I'm back)
I'm back (I'm back)
School Choir: SLIM SHADY!
Eminem: I'm back (I'm back)

I take seven kids from columbine and stand 'em all in line
Add an AK-47, a revolver, a nine
A Mac-11 and this oughtta solve this problem of mine
And that's a whole school of bullies shot up all of the time, 'cause I'm
Shady, they call me as crazy as this world was
Over this whole Y2K thing, and by the way
N'Sync, why do they sing?
Am I the only one who realizes they stink?
Should I dye my hair pink and care what y'all think?
Lip-sync and buy a bigger size of ear rings?
That's why I tend to block out when I hear things
'Cause all these fans screamin' is making my ears ring
So I just throw up the middle finger and let it linger
Longer than the rumor that I was sticking it to Christina
'Cause if I ever stuck it to any singer in showbiz
It'd be Jennifer Lopez and Puffy you know this
Sorry Puff but I don't give a fuck, if this chick was my own mother,
I'd still fuck her with no rubber, and cum inside her
And have a son and a new brother,
At the same tame, and just say that it ain't mine
What's my name?

Eminem: I'm, Slim (slim) Shady! (I'm back)
I'm back (I'm back)
School Choir: SLIM SHADY!
Eminem: I'm back (I'm back)
That's why they call me Slim (slim) Shady! (I'm back)
I'm back (I'm back)
School Choir: SLIM SHADY!
Eminem: I'm back (I'm back)
That's why they call me Slim (slim) Shady! (I'm back)
I'm back (I'm back)
School Choir: SLIM SHADY!
Eminem: I'm back (I'm back)
That's why they call me Slim (er) Shady! (I'm back)
I'm back (I'm back)
School Choir: SLIM SHADY!
Eminem: I'm back (I'm back)

Guess who's back
Gue-gue-Guess who's back
Guess who's back
Gue-gue-Guess who's back

Dr Dre
Slim Shady
I'm blew out from this blunt


Marshall Mathers

You know I just don't get it
Last year I was nobody
This year I'm sellin records
Now everyone wants to come around like I owe em sumthin...
The fuck you want from me?
Ten million dollars?
Get the fuck outta here!

You see I'm...
Just Marshall Mathers...
I'm just a regular guy I don't know why
All the fuss about me...
Nobody ever gave a fuck before
All they did was doubt me...
Now everybody wanna run they mouth
And try to take shots at me...

Yo, you might see me joggin
Or you might see me walkin
You might see me walkin
A dead rottweiler dog
With his head chopped off in the park
With a spiked collar hollerin
At him cuz the son of a bitch wont quit barkin
Or leaning out a window with a cocked shotgun
Drivin up the block in the car that they shot Pac in
Lookin for BIG's killas
Dressin ridiculous
Blue and red like I don't see what the big deal is
Double barrel twelve gauge bigger than Chris Wallace
Pissed off, cuz Biggie and Pac just missed all us
Watchin all these cheap immitations get rich off em
And get dollars that shoulda been theirs like they switched wallets
And amist all this chris poppin and wrist watches
I just sit back and just watch and just get nauseas
And walk around with a empty bottle of Remmy Martin
Startin shit like some 26 year old skinny Cartman (God Damn It)
I'm anti Backstreet and Ricky Martin
It's instincts to kill N Sync don't get me started
These fuckin brats can't sing and Britney's garbage
What is this bitch retarded
Gimme back my sixteen dollars
All I see is sissies in magazines smilin (Hehe)
Whatever happened to wildin out and being violent
Whatever happened to catchin a good old-fashioned passionate
Ass whoopin and getting your shoes, coat, and your hat tooken

New kids on the block suck allota dick
Boy girl groups make me sick
And I can't wait till I catch all you faggots in public
Imma love it (Ha Ha Ha)

Vanilla Ice don't like me (Uh Uh)
He said some shit devior despite me (Yep)
Then went and dyed his hair just like me (Ha Ha)
A bunch of little kids wanna swear just like me
Run around screamin "I don't care, just bite me" (Na Na)
I think I was put here to annoy the world
And destroy your little 4 year old boy or girl
Plus I was put here to put fear
In faggots who spray FAYGO root beer
And call themselves clowns cuz they look queer
FAGGY 2 dope and silent gay
Claimin Detriot, when y'all live twenty miles away
And I don't wrestle I'll knock you fuckin faggots the fuck out
Ask them about the club they was at when they snuck out
After they ducked out the back when they saw us and bugged out
Ducked down and got paintball shot at they truck PLOW!
Look at y'all runnin your mouth again
When you aint seen a fuckin mile roll South of 10
And I don't need help
From D-12
To beat up
Two females
And make up
When they tried to scratch me
Wit Lee nails
Slim Anus...you damn right Slim Anus
I don't get fucked in mine like you two little flamin faggots

Cuz I'm...
Just Marshall Mathers...
I'm not a wrestler guy
I'll knock you out if you talk about me...
Come and see me on the streets alone
If you assholes doubt me...
And if wanna run your mouth
Then come and take your best shot at me...

Is it because you love me
That y'all expect so much of me
You little groupie bitch get off me
Go fuck Puffy
Now because of this blonde mop
That's on top
Wit this fucked up head that I've got
I've gone pop
The underground just spun around and did a 360
Now these kids diss me and act like some big sissies
Oh, he just did some shit with Missy
So now he thinks he's too big to do some shit with MC Get Busy
My fuckin bitch mom suing for ten million
She must want a dollar for every pill I been stealin
Shit, where the fuck you think I picked up the habit
All I had to do was go in her room and lift up a matress
Which is it bitch Mrs. Riggs or Ms. Mathers
It doesn't matter........faggot
Talkin about how I fabricated my past
He's just aggravated I wont ejaculate in his ass
So tell me, what the hell is a fella to do
For every million I make, another relative sues
Family fightin and fussin
Over for who wants to invite me to supper
All of a sudden
I got 90 some cousins (Hey It's Me)
A half brother and sister who never seen me
Or even bothered to call me
Until they saw me on TV
Now everybody's so happy and proud
I'm finally allowed
To set foot in my girlfriends house (Hey)
And then to top it off I walk to the newsstand
And buy this cheap ass magazine with a food stamp
Skipped to the last page flipped right fast
And what do i see? A picture of my big white ass!
Ok, lemme give you motherfuckers some help
Uh here...double XL, double XL
Now your magazine shouldn't have so much trouble to sell
Aww fuck it I'll even buy a couple myself

Cuz I'm...
Just Marshall Mathers...
I'm just a regular guy I don't know
All the fuss about me...
Nobody ever gave a fuck before
All they did was doubt me...
Now everybody wanna run they mouth
And try to take shots at me...

Because I'm...
Just Marshall Mathers...
I'm just a regular guy I don't know
All the fuss about me...
Nobody ever gave a fuck before
All they did was doubt me...
Now everybody wanna run they mouth
And try to take shots at me...


Ken Kaniff

Uuuhoh, yeah

Oh, suck it
Oh, fuck yu
Oh, Shagy
Oh, this is why they call you two dope ain't it
Oh, fuck yu
Oh, take it out, take it out!
Oh, now give something to Jay

Oh, violent Jay

Wait don't bite it

Don't be violent with it

now just suck it

nice and slow, yeah

oh oh fuck yu

you got oh

now give it back to Shagy

he was sucking it better

Oh, now say my name

Eminem, say my name, Eminem


Ohh fuck you guys

Gi-give me my dick back

Fuck you guys

If you want Eminem you can Have Eminem

Fuck you guys (Ken) I'm on leaving (no)

(Kenn wait, oh damn)

(Nice going Shagy)


Drug Ballad

hmmm, whoaaa, hmm ...
Guess what?
I ain't coming in yet, i'll come in in a minute
Aiyo, this is my love song. It goes like this....

Back when Mark Wallburg was marky mark
This is how we used to make the party start
We used to...mix in with bacardi dark
and when it... kicks in you can hardely talk
and by the... sixth gin you gon probly crawl
and you'll be... sick then and you'll probly barf
and my pre-...diction is that you gon probably fall
either somewhere in the lobby or the hallway wall
and every-... things spinnin your beginning to think women are swimmin in
pink linen again in the sink
then in a couple of minutes that bottle of guinness is finished
you are now allowed to officially slap bitches
you have the right to remain violent and start wildin
start a fight with the same guy that was smart rhymin
get in the car and start it and start drivin
over the island and cause a 42 car pile up

Earth calling, pilot to co-pilot, looking for life on this planet sir, no sign of it
All i could see is a bunch of smoke flyin and I'm so high that I might die if
i go by it. Let me out of this place I'm outta place, I'm in in outter space, I've just
vanished without a trace.
I'm going to a pretty place now where the flowers grow, I'll be back in an hour or so.

Cuz every time I go to try to leave (whoa-o-o)
someone keeps pullin on my sleeve (whoa-o-o)
I dont wanna but I gotta stay (whoa-o-o)
these drugs really gotta hold on me (whoa-o-o)
Cuz everytime I try ta tell 'em no (no-o-o)
they won't let me ever let 'em go (go-o-o)
I'm a sucker all I gotta say (whoa-o-o)
is drug's really gotta hold on me

In third grade all I used to do, was sniff glue through a tube and play rubix cube
Seventeen years later I'm as rude as joo (slang for you)
Schemein on the first chick with the hugest boobs
I got no game, and every face looks the same
they got no name, so i don't need game to play
I just say whatever I want, to whoever I want, whenever i want, wherever I
want, however I want
However I do show some respect to few
This ecstacy has got me standin next to you
Gettin sentimental as fuck, spillin guts to you
We just met, but I think I'm in love with you
But your on it too, so you tell me you love me too,
Wake up in the morning like "What the fuck we do?"
I gotta go bitch, you know I got stuff to do, Cuz if I get caught cheatin
then I'm stuck with you
But in the long run these drugs are gonna catch up sooner or later
But fuck it I'm on one, so let's enjoy, let the ex destroy your spinal chord,
so it's not a straight line no more
So we walk around lookin like some wind-up dolls, shit stickin out of our
backs like a dinosaur,
Shit, six hit's won't even get me high no more, so bye for now, I'm gonna try
to find some more


That's the sound of a bottle when it's hollow when you swallow it all
wallow and drown in your sorrow
And tomorrow your probably gonna wanna do it again
What's a little spinal fluid between you and a friend, screw it
and whats a little bit of alcohol poisoning? and whats a little fight,
tomorrow you'll be boys again
It's your life, live it however you wanna
Marajuana is everywhere, where was you brought up?
It don't matter as long as you get where you're goin
Cuz none of this shit's gonna mean shit where we're goin
They tell you to stop but you just sit there ignorin, even though you wake up
feelin like shit every mornin.
But your young, you got a lot of drugs to do, girls to screw, parties to
crash, sucks to be you
If I could take it all back now I wouldn't, I woulda did more shit that
people said that I shouldnt
But I'm all grown up now, and upgraded and graduated to better drugs and
But I still gotta a lot of growin up to do, I still gotta whole lot of
throwin up to spew
But when it's all said and done before I know it I'll be forty wit a 40 on
the porch tellin stories
with a bottle of Jack, two grandkids on my lap, babysitting for Hailey, while
Hailey's out gettin shmashed.

Chorus x 2
drugs really gotta hold on me
really got a hold on me
drugs really gotta hold on me
they really got a hold on me



(He's) Mentally ill from Amityville (He'll)
Accidentally kill your family still
Thinkin' he won't, God damnit, he will (He's)
Mentally ill from Amityville

I get lifted and spin 'til I'm half-twisted
Feet planted and stand with a grin full of chapped lipstick
Pen full of ink, think sinful and raps sick shit
Shrink, pencil me in for my last visit
Drink Gin 'til my chin's full of splashed whiskers
Hash Whiskey and ash 'til I slap bitches
Ask Bizzy, he's been here the past 6 years
Mash with me again and imagine this

Chorus x2:
(He's) Mentally ill from Amityville (He'll)
Accidentally kill your family still
Thinkin' he won't, God damnit, he will (He's)
Mentally ill from Amityville

Fuck my cousin in his asshole, slit my mother's throat
Hehe, guess who Slim Shady just signed to Interscope
My little sisters birthday, she'll remember me
Forgive for havin' tellin' my <----------------- For
a gift I had ten of my
boy's take her virginity
And bitches know me as a horny-ass freak
Her mother wasn't raped; I ate her pussy while she was asleep
Pissy drunk throwing up in a urinal (YOU FUCKING HOMO!)
That's what I said up at my dad's funeral

Chorus x2

That's why the city is filled with a bunch of fuckin' idiots still
That's why the first motherfucker poppin' some shit, he gets killed
That's why we don't call it "Detroit", we call it "Amityville"
You can get capped after just having a cavity filled
That's why they're crowned the murder capital still
This ain't Detroit, this is motherfuckin' Hamburger Hill
We don't do drive-bys; we park in front of houses and shoot
And when the police come, we fuckin' shoot it out with them too
That's the mentality here, that's the reality here
Did I just hear somebody say they wanna challenge me here?
While I'm holdin' a pistol with this many calibers here?
Try some registration, it just made the shit valid this year?
'Cause once I snap, I can't be held accountable for my actions
That's when accidents happen, when a thousand bullets come at your house
And collapse the foundation around you when they found you and your family in it
God damnit, admit it when he told you

Chorus x2


Bitch Please II

(dr.Dre) Yeah What up Detroit?
(Snoop) Nah Uh ah ah, oh no he didn't, AHH, they
didn't do it again. Wha what,
wha what? You shit on these niggas two times Dr. Dre?
(Dre) Oh Fo Sho!
(snoop) Uh uh no! You smell dat dis is special right
here. Wha what, what what,
what? It's a toast to the boogie baby...to tha boogie
oogie oogie! Yeah ya KNOW?
What's cracking Dre
Jus let me lay back and kick some ol' simplistic pimp shit
on Slim's shit start riots like Limp Bizkit, (LIMP BIZKIT!!)
Throw on Guilty Conscience on concerts
and watch mosh pits til muthafuckas knock each other unconcsious.
Some of these crowds that Slim draws,
Is as rowdy as Crenshaw... Boulevard
When it's packed and full of cars.
Some of these crowds me and Snoop draw,
Is niggas from Crenshaw, from Long Beach to South
Central (OH...girl screams)
Not these niggas again, grown ass ignorant men
Wit hair triggas again (shit)
You and what army, could harm me D-R-E
And Shady wit Doggy from Long Beach (snoop; EASTSIDE!)
We came a long way to making these songs play
It a be a wrong move ta stare at me tha wrong way
I got a long uz, an I carry it all day
Sometimes it's like a nightmare, just being Andre
But I...
Somehow someway...Hello Nigga.
You know about DAWGAY (ah)(Snoop Dogg!)
Now let me cut these niggas up
And show'em where tha fuck I'm comin from
I get tha party crackin wit tha shit that I be spittin son
Hit &Run. Get it Done. Get the Funds. Split and Run.
Got about 50 guns,and I love all of em' tha same
Bang Bang. Damn Baby girl what's yo name? (what's yo name)
I forgot. What'd you say it was? Damn a nigga buzzed (fucked up)
Hangin in tha club wit my nephew Eminem
(Snoop: What's up Eminem) What up cuz? (Em: What's up Snoop?)
The Great White American Hope
Done hooked up wit tha KING of the MUTHAFUCKIN West Coast BABY!
(Nate Dogg):
And you really don't wanna fuck wit me
Only nigga that I trust is me
Fuck around and make me bust this heat (gunshot)
(Snoop): That's tha devil, they always wanna dance.
I'm tha head nigga in charge, I'm watching you move
Ya found dead in yo garage, wit 10 o'clock news...coverage
Gotta love it cuz I expose tha façade.
Your little lungs is too small to hotbox wit god.
All jokes aside come bounce wit us
Standing over you wit a 12 gauge about ta bust
It's like ashes to ashes and dust to dust
I might leave in a bodybag but never in cuffs
So who do you trust, they just not rugged enough
When things get rough I'm in tha club shootin wit Puff
BITCH PLEASE! You must have a mental disease
Assume tha position and get back down on ya knees C'MON(gunshots)
(imitating Snoop):
Ahh No , Big Slim Dogg, 80 pound balls (Snoop: Wha?),
dick six inch
Back up in tha Heesy(Snoop: Baby!) Baby, He's Shady
(snoop): He's so crazy!
Give me tha mic, let me recite to Timothy White
Pickets outside the Interscope offices everynight
What if he's right, And I'm just a criminal making a
livin off tha world's misery
What in the world gives me the right to say what I like
Walk around Flippin tha bird, livin tha ur-ban life
like a White kid from tha 'burbs
Dreamin at night, and screamin at moms schemin ta leave
Run away from home and grow ta be as evil as me
I just want you all to notice me, and people ta see
That somewhere deep down, there's a decent human being in me
It just can't be found so tha reason you've been seeing this me
Cuz this is me now, tha recent dude who's been being this mean
So when you see me dressin up like a nerd on TV
Or heard tha CD, using tha fag word so freely
It's just me being me, Here you want me ta tone it down
Look here: (Impersonating Snoop)
I start some trouble everywhere that I go
Ask tha bouncers in tha club cuz they know
I start some shit they throw me out the back do'
Come back and shoot tha club up wit a fo' fo'
2001 and forever Slim Shady...Dr. Dre...Snoop
Dogg...X to tha Z...Nate
Dogg...C'mon yeah



* before a part means I’m not sure about it.

Yesterday I changed your diaper, wiped you and powdered you.
How did you get so big, can't believe it, now your two
Baby your so precious, daddy's so proud of you

Kim: OK!!
Eminem: (Kim screaming) Don't make me wake this baby, she don't need to see
what I’m about to do
Quit crying bitch, why do you always make me shout at you
How could you?...just leave me and love him out the blue
Kim: (crying)
Eminem: Oh, what's a matter Kim....am I too loud for you?? (Kim screaming)
Too bad bitch, your gonna finally hear me out this time
At first, I’m like all right, you wanna throw me out, that's fine.
But not for him to take my place, are you out you're mind?
This couch, this tv, this whole house is mine.
How could you let him sleep in our bed?
Look it Kim, Look at your husband now,(kim: NOOO) I said look at him!!!
He ain't so hot now is he? Little punk.
Kim: Why are you doing this?
Eminem: Shut the fuck up!!!
Kim: You're drunk, You're never going to get away at this..
Eminem: You think I give a fuck!
Come on..we're going’ for a ride bitch,(Kim: NOOOO) sit up front.
Kim: why can't we just leave Haley alone....what if she wakes up?
Eminem: We'll be right back......Well I will, you'll be in the trunk.

Chorus 2x

Eminem: You really fucked me Kim,
You really did a number on me,
Never knew me cheatin' on you would come back to hunt me.
But we was kids then Kim, I was only 18!
That was years ago, I thought we wiped the slate clean
That's fucked up!!
Eminem: What are you doing, change the station......I HATE this song! Does
this look like a big joke?
Kim: NO......
Eminem: * There’s a 4 year old boy lyin’ dead with a slit throat.....in your
living room.....HA HA........What you think I'm kiddin’ you
(crying) You loved him didn't you?
Kim: NO
TO ME.....(honk, honk)....What the fuck's this guy's problem on the side of
me?......FUCK YOU ASSHOLE, YEAH BITE ME........KIM,KIIIM....why don't you
like me?.....you think I’m ugly don't you.
Eminem: no you think I’m ugly,
get the fuck away from me, don't touch me.....I HATE YOU...I HATE YOU...I SWEAR


Eminem: Come on get out.
Kim: I can't I'm scared.
Eminem: I said get out bitch!
Kim: Let go of my hair....please don't do this baby...please...I love you...look we can just take Haley and leave
Oh my god i'm crackin up , GET A GRIP MARSHALL!!!!
Hey member the time we went to Brian's party?
And you were like so drunk that you threw up all over Archie.
That was funny wasn't it?
Kim: yes..
Kim: YES!!
Eminem: See, it all makes sense, doesn't it? You and your husband had a fight
One of you tries to grab a knife, and during the struggle he accidentally
gets his Adams apple sliced....And while this is goin’ on...his son just
woke up, and he just walks in...She panics...and he gets his throat cut, So
now they both dead....and you slash your own throat, So now it's double
homicide and suicide with no note, I should have known better when you
started to act weird, We could've.......HEY! where ya goin....get back
here!!! You can't run from me Kim....It's just us...Nobody else! You're only
makin’ this harder on yourself
HA HA....GOTCHA!!!! (Kim screams)HHHAA.......GO AHEAD YELL
Don't you get it bitch, no one can hear you? ...Now shut the fuck up and get
what's comin to you......You were supposed to love me!!!!! (kim

Chorus 2x


Under The Infludence

(Gibberish) translation:
So you can suck my dick if you don't like, my shit
'Cause I was high when I wrote this so suck, my dick

Two pills I pop, 'til my pupils swell up like two pennies
I'm Clint Eastwood in his mid-20's
A young-ass man with a trash can strapped to the back of his ass
So the rats can't chew through his last pants
I'm like a mummy at night, fightin' with bright lightnin'
Frightened with five little white Vicaden pills bitin' him
I'm like a fuckin' wasp in the hospital, lost
Stingin' the fuck out of everything I come across in the halls
I light a candle and place it up on the mantle
Grab a knife by the blade and stab you with the fuckin' handle
So when you find yourself wrapped up in the blinds hurtin'
(Bitch it's too late)
'Cause once you're hung from the drapes, it's "curtains"

(Swifty McBay)
I'm an instigator, three-eighty slug penetrator
They bring creative murders to kill haters
Accused for every crime known to the equator
They knew I did it, for havin' blood on my gators
My weed'll hit your chest like a double-barreled gauge'er
I'm a black grenade that'll blow up in your face
With a fifth in me, when I guzzle Henny I do shit on purpose
You'll never hear me say "forgive me"
I'm snatchin' every penny, it's gotta be that way
Nigga face it, that weed I sold to you? Regate laced it
You had it, I'll make the President get a face-lift
Niggas just afraid, handin' me their bracelets
Chillin' in the lab wasted
I'm the type that'll drink Kaluha and Gin, and throw up on the mic
Don't like this rule, you get socked right on sight
And even at the Million Man March, we gonna fight

So you can suck my dick if you don't like, my shit
'Cause I was high when I wrote this so suck, my dick
'Cause I don't give a fuck if you don't like, my shit
'Cause I was high when I wrote this so suck, my dick

I'm a compulsive liar, set my preacher on fire
Slash your tires, find out, thinkin' they're mine
Plate's expired, so as soon as I'm hired, I'm fired
Jackin' my dick off in a band of barbed wires
"Hey, is Bizarre performing?"
Bitch, didn't you read the flyer?
Special invited guest will be Richard Pryor
"Aren't you a male dancer?"
Naw bitch, I'm retired, for fuckin' a bitch in the ass with a tire iron
I'm ripped, I'm on an acid trip
My DJ's in a coma for lettin' the record skip
Lettin' the record skip - lettin' the record skip
(reverse revolving of record)
I'm fuckin' anything when I'm snortin'
It's gonna cost $300 dollars to get my pit bull an abortion
Some bitch asked for my autograph
I called her a whore, spit beer in her face, and laughed
I drop bombs like I was in Vietnam
All bitches are hoes, even my stinkin' ass moms

Ayo flashback, two seats, too deep up in that asscrack
Weed laced with somethin', nigga pass that
And after then we go to hang out with hashrats
At a Stop The Violence rally
I blast gats, be it a mom or publishing
Get your ass capped, the Caniver divider
Yo cash that, run your motherfuckin' pockets
ASAP, I don't need a platinum chain
Bitch, I'll snatch Shaq's, born loser
Half-thief and half-black
Bring your boys and your guns, and get laughed at
Bitch smack 'em, bitch rappers get ejac-jacked
Found chopped-up in a trash bag

(Dirty Harry)
Stranglin' rappers to the point they can't yell
'Cause their crew is full of fags that're sweeter than bake sales
Wreckless, come from behind and snatch your necklace
Cruisin' and causin' more trouble than nine hoodlums
I rattle your Adam's Apple until it crackles
Run right past you, turn around, grab you and stab you
Get executed, 'cause I'm a looney
I got an adept mind, and it's polluted
I cock it back then shoot it
I love snatchin' up players, thugs, and young ballers
Shoot up they household, even the young toddlers
Brigades barricade to bring the noise
Watch the bullets wrap your bones up like Christmas toys
If I go solo, I'm doing a song with Bolo
A big Chinese nigga, screamin' "Ihava yo-yo"
I'll leave your face leakin'
Run up in church and smack the preacher while he's preachin'
Take a swing at the deacon

(The Con Artist)
I used to tell cats I sold weed and weight
I was straight until I got caught sellin' em shaped
I'm ignorant, with the intent to snatch your rent
I got kicked out of summer camp for havin' sex in my tent
While the superintendent thought up, my brain's out of order
I've been a con artist since I was swimmin' in water
And cahoots with this nigga named Fall Out Tom (?)
Who got fired from UPS for tryin' to send you a bomb
(special delivery)
I signed to a local label for fun
Say I got cancer, get dropped an advancement and run
Ride by you in the rain while you carry your son
Call your house and hang up on you for not givin' me none
Born straight up out a pussy but a son of a gun
Got a reputation for havin' niggas run up they funds
Used to be the type of nigga that was full of some one's
'Til I met your fat mama, now I'm rollin' in dough


Suck my motherfuckin' dick...
D-12... Dirty motherfuckin' Dozen...
Assed you like a snake slut bitch with 30 fuckin'
Bizarre kid... Swifty McBay... The Con Artist... The
Caniver... Dirty Harry...
Haha, and Slim Shady...



A lot of people ask me.. stupid fuckin questions
A lot of people think that.. what I say on records
or what I talk about on a record, that I actually do in real life
or that I believe in it
Or if I say that, I wanna kill somebody, that..
I'm actually gonna do it
or that I believe in it
Well, shit.. if you believe that
then I'll kill you
You know why?
Cuz I'm a

You god damn right
Yeah, I'm a CRIMINAL

My words are like a dagger with a jagged edge
That'll stab you in the head
whether you're a fag or lez
Or the homosex, hermaph or a trans-a-vest
Pants or dress - hate fags? The answer's "yes"
Homophobic? Nah, you're just heterophobic
Starin at my jeans, watchin my genitals bulgin (Ooh!)
That's my motherfuckin balls, you'd better let go of em
They belong in my scrotum, you'll never get hold of em
Hey, it's me, Versace
Whoops, somebody shot me!
And I was just checkin the mail
Get it? Checkin the 'male'?
How many records you expectin to sell
after your second LP sends you directly to jail?
C'mon!-- Relax guy, I like gay men
Right, Ken? Give me an amen (AAA-men!)
Please Lord, this boy needs Jesus
Heal this child, help us destroy these demons
Oh, and please send me a brand new car
And a prostitute while my wife's sick in the hospital
Preacher preacher, fifth grade teacher
You can't reach me, my mom can't neither
You can't teach me a goddamn thing cause
I watch TV, and Comcast cable
and you ain't able to stop these thoughts
You can't stop me from toppin these charts
And you can't stop me from droppin each March
with a brand new cd for these fuckin retards
Duhhh, and to think, it's just little ol' me
Mr. "Don't Give A Fuck," still won't leave

Chorus: Eminem (repeat 2X)

Cuz every time I write a rhyme, these people think it's a crime
to tell em what's on my mind - I guess I'm a CRIMINAL
but I don't gotta say a word, I just flip em the bird
and keep goin, I don't take shit from no one

My mother did drugs - tar, liquor, cigarettes, and speed
The baby came out - disfigured, ligaments indeed
It was a seed who would grow up just as crazy as she
Don't dare make fun of that baby cause that baby was me
I'm a CRIMINAL - an animal caged who turned crazed
But how the fuck you sposed to grow up when you weren't raised?
So as I got older and I got a lot taller
My dick shrunk smaller, but my balls got larger
I drink malt liquor to fuck you up quicker
than you'd wanna fuck me up for sayin the word ...
My morals went thhbbpp when the president got oral
Sex in his Oval Office on top of his desk
Off of his own employee
Now don't ignore me, you won't avoid me
You can't miss me, I'm white, blonde-haired
and my nose is pointy
I'm the bad guy who makes fun of people that die
in plane crashes and laughs
As long as it ain't happened to him
Slim Shady, I'm as crazy as Em
-inem and Kim combined - *kch* the maniac's in
Replacin the doctor cause Dre couldn't make it today
He's a little under the weather, so I'm takin his place
(Mm-mm-mmm!) Oh, that's Dre with an AK to his face
Don't make me kill him too and spray his brains all over the place
I told you Dre, you should've kept that thang put away
I guess that'll teach you not to let me play with it, eh?

[Interlude Skit]
Aight look (uh huh) just go up in that motherfucker
get the motherfuckin money and get the fuck up outta there
[Em] Aight
I'll be right here waitin on you
[Em] Aight
Yo Em
[Em] What?!
Don't kill nobody this time
[Em] Awwright... god damn, fuck...
       (whistling) how you doin'?
[Teller] HI, how can I help you?
[Eminem] Yeah I need to make a withdrawl
[Teller] Okay
[Eminem] Put the fuckin money in the bag bitch
            and I won't kill you!
[Teller] What? Oh my god, don't kill me
[Eminem] I'm not gonna kill you bitch, quit lookin around...
[Teller] Don't kill me, please don't kill me...
[Eminem] I said I'm not gonna fuckin kill you
            Hurry the fuck up! {*BOOM*} Thank you!

Windows tinted on my ride when I drive in it
So when I rob a bank, run out and just dive in it
So I'll be disguised in it
And if anybody identifies the guy in it
I'll hide for five minutes
Come back, shoot the eyewitness
Then fire at the private eye hired to pry in my business
Die, bitches! Pass this brass pest(?)
Cause Puffy's lucky I didn't blast his ass yet
If I ever gave a fuck, I'd shave my nuts
tuck my dick inbetween my legs and cluck
You motherfuckin chickens ain't brave enough
to say the stuff I say, so this tape is shut
Shit, half the shit I say, I just make it up
To make you mad so kiss my white naked ass
And if it's not a rapper that I make it as
I'ma be a fuckin rapist in a Jason mask

(Chorus 2X)



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